Last minute fine tuning

All right, so today is the last day I can get into the editing lab unless I can get someone to sneak me in over the summer. I have a few minor adjustments to make to my film in order to assure that whoever is seeing it is seeing my complete vision, and then I'll be done. I do feel proud, and I am encouraged by the response of the film. I am even encouraged by the fact that a few people find the shift in the middle segment challenging. Good, it's supposed to be! I win. I probably should have let myself revel in it a little more during the screening but I the weird shifts in black in particular really rankled me, especially since it's the first time I've ever seen my film do that. Something with the projector I guess. No matter, it will be fixed and then onto festivals.

I know this is just for a class but I might continue posting in this blog for a little while just to get my thoughts in order for the film's festival release. Either that, or once I get a professional website that requires actual money (hopefully after a startlingly successful indie go-go campaign) then I can start a blog through there instead and just leave a link for anyone curious in following the film's progress.

On to the breach!

The Transcendence of Order and a Brief Look at Future Projects

When I pitched my 495 project to Andre, I noted that it was a work that was part of larger exploration of a particular thesis of religion. Prior to my 495, I had co-directed Baptism with Michelle, a found-footage short that explored the abstract beauty of the act of baptism, and I wrote a paper for a class detailing how one can look at the first chapters of the old testament within a poetic frame of reference.

Recently, I submitted a short paper to a frame analysis contest that again touched on my own personal refletions on religion. It won an honorary mention award and can be found here. After going over it again in the last few days and doing two sweep over edits, I'm reasonably proud of it as well. I wish this was the version of the paper that I had actually turned in. The first version's arguments were a little muddled and confused. This feels more accurate to how I actually feel and to what I want to express.

As a final note, The Holistic marks one chapter in a whole book full of these reflections. The next two films I'm planning on making are:

1. "Tower of Babel" A cameraless painted film project that will explore an abstract recreation of the words of mankind cascading down the Tower of Babel.

2. "Untitled Holistic Follow-Up: Nostalgia" I have a lot of interview footage that I didn't use this time around, and a lot of digital footage too (I'm pretty much exhausted the "unique" shots in my film reserves, if not the total runtime). Most of the interview footage actually had to do with religion and nostalgia. I think it was a 2:1 ratio of nostalgia footage to death footage. In any case, I plan to go back to these interviews at some point (I couldn't even find a place for Ed in this film! He's got to go in the second one) and create a follow up to The Holistic. I suppose I probably can't call it The Holistic Part II can I...

Encounters at the End of the Earth

I should have known things were going to easy with this project. No good film and consequent film edit should be without a momentary flight of panic of some kind. It's like how they used to christen a boat by smashing a champagne bottle against the hull (note: do they still do that?). It's good luck and that's how I'll look at my last two or three hectic days finishing up my project. 

First issue? Resolution. The home video footage was exported at a crazy low res, and then I ran into all sorts of issues with compressor trying to get the footage back up to snuff. What I did was try to export the entire DVD of footage in larger dimensions, using different codecs. First I used the wrong codec, then I ran into an issue with my hard drive filling up (note: a whole DVD through Apple pro res takes up a lot of space, we're talking like 50 GBs). What I should have done and eventually did do is this: 

Trim the footage I need in compressor, re-edit the footage into Final Cut. It sounds difficult, because you have to find the same start and stop points in the edit, but guess what? It was insanely quick in comparison to the alternative (and I did try the alternative first, came up with more resolution issues that I solved through this process). And really, it didn't take that long at all because the real time consuming task is deciding on the edits in the first place. Oh well, we live and we learn. 

My second issue? Sound. My monologue was no good, it already had issue with fidelity which I was aware of but I wanted to keep it because I liked the cadence and the tone and it was hard for me to strike that tone the first time. But then I found out that you can hear people talking in the background (personal note: the sound booth in the editing lab will not cut out the chatter of students in the room). Funny enough, it would be nearly impossible for me to tell when editing in the lab with others, because it sounds just like people are talking in the room (also, it would be hard to tell for me because I am like half deaf). 

In any case, I ended up re-recording my monologue. Another future note? I will never record my own monologue again. I'm too particular, I obsess over the phrasing of a word and start all over, if it sounds like I have too much saliva in mouth, whether I can hear the headphone cord rubbing against zoom, it's bloody ridiculous. I don't think I would be that particular with other people, not sure why. 

Finally, the great news is that my monologue sounds really good (I think anyway). It has a very similar cadence and tone but it's clearer in its delivery and it's not so low that I have to bump up the levels to high and slightly distort the sound quality. Also, I fixed all my resolution issues (including a couple random shots that were not home video) and it looks amazing. And I fixed a couple audio issues that I didn't even realize I could fix. AND I made all these small adjustments that help tweak the pacing and I caved to Andre's suggestion for a dissolve at the end of Part II which actually looks pretty cool and all in all I'm really proud of my film and I am excited to show it!

Trying my Indie Go-Go write up again...and failing

I tried to change it since the project is not what it was at the beginning of the semester. Now it's WAY too long, and maybe I should push for getting film for the next installment rather than trying to get people to help me recoup my expenses for the first time around. Regardless, I'll go ahead and post it here, as it is part of the pastiche of my film's journey:

Our Story

Michelle and I are undergraduate film studies majors at UNC Wilmington. The Holistic marks our third project together, a senior thesis film that mediates on the nature of death as seen through a Judea Christian frame of reference. While that description might seem overly complicated, it boils down to a simple set of questions that everyone must ask themselves at some point and yet we rarely bring up in conversation:

-What will happen to us when we die?

-What are the implications of an eternal soul?

-Where do we go? What distinctions can we make between heaven and hell?

The beginnings of this concept started with my dissastification of our first film, in which we served as underlings on a fledgling documentary about something neither Michelle or I held interest in: the public perceptions of tow truck drivers (riveting stuff, I know). Halfway through our short documentary Towed Away, I made myself a promise never to make another film I was not passionate about.

This lead me to question what I was passionate about, and I had to admit that religion always held a peculiar fascination to me. I was particularly interested in the abstract notion of religion: the ineffable quality of belief that escapes definition, a feeling of grace that lies beyond the dogma of the church. Having grown to appreciate Michelle as an artist and a close friend, I approached her with the idea of constructing an experimental documentary in which we would explore this concept. Thankfully, she agreed to follow me on this bizarre, year long film adventure, patiently waiting for our film to take shape from what I originally imagined to what it was meant to be.

Of course, the problem with deciding exactly what I wanted to express with religion was that I was only one person. And yet, we interviewed several different people from all walks of life, somehow imagining that their views could conveniently line up with mine. As you might imagine, the interviews did not happen according to my design. Instead, they organically took the form of a series of unique reflections on universal concerns about religion and our place in the world.

I had also meant to segment the film into three parts: Religion and Nostalgia, Religion and Everyday Life, and Religion and Death. However, once I began editing the film I realized that trying to incorporate everything I wanted to say into one short film left the message diluted and confused. Helped by Michelle's wise council, I decided to focus on the subject that interested me the most; namely, how our perceptions of an unknowable death and the equally poetic notion of religion coexist in harmony.

And so The Holistic was born.

The Impact

I believe this project is important because it addresses a subject that is integral to all our lives but that we seldom discuss in an open and honest way. In the film, we incorporate as many perspectives as possible, presenting them in a way that is free from bias and judgment, because regardless of individual belief we all face the same end. Consequently, The Holistic provides a voice for the very substance of our beliefs, showing that we have more in common with each other than we might have thought.

Additionally, and beyond the construction of our interviews (which takes up the first segment of our film), we have also included the following two segments: a poetic representation of the history of the dead and a brief diaristic segment in which I voice my own thoughts and concerns of death and religion. With the inclusion of these segments, we offer contrast between a highly personalized experience and a more universal depiction of the passage of time and life. Through these shifts in scope, the film creates a natural association between how an individual relates to death and how that intimate connection expresses one voice among many, providing us a comprehensive reflection that draws influence from religion, but which remains independent of any subset of religious belief.

This inclination led me to name the film The Holistic after a branch of philosophy called holism, which theorizes that “whole entities, as fundamental components of reality, have an existence other than as the mere sum of their parts.” In other words, entities like religion and death hold a presence beyond their apparent components and beyond our capacity of observation. In the same way, and contrary to popular belief, none of us die alone because our deaths lend themselves to a pastiche of human experience, a continued struggle to find meaning and beauty in every aspect of our lives. It is my humble intent to offer this film up as a poetic representation of that process. 

(What is the impact your campaign may have on others? What if your campaign doesn't happen, what are the consequences? Make it real for people.)

What We Need & What You Get

Perhaps it is counter-intuitive to set up a fundraiser account after the project has been created. However, the truth is that if we tried to express what our film was before its completion our request would have been disingenuous. We only knew what our film was truly about in the final moments of its creation, and we could not ask for help with funding without expressing exactly what we wanted the film to convey.

Consequently, Michelle and I have self-funded the project up until this point, depleting our tenuous bank account reserves in an effort to see the film through. With that said, we have created this indie go-go account to help our production and our lives in the following ways:

1. While our film has been completed, Michelle and I are now graduating and woefully in debt, and we face the intimidating prospect of paying film festival fees in order to assure that The Holistic finds an audience. We would also love to establish a website both for The Holistic and our future projects, but again this is a cost we find ourselves ill-equipped to cover. We seek help with these expenses if nothing else, though we remain optimistic in our search for further support.

Cost: ____

2. We put the cost of our 16mm and Super 8mm film on my credit card, originally planning to post a kickstarter or indie go-go account in order to try and recoup the expense, but we had a crises of conscious in terms of pretending the film had not already been purchased and that The Holistic had not already been made. However, we would hope to appeal to everyone's better nature in order to help us recover this expense so that we might stave off that part of our debt as recent graduates. We are not worrying about any odds and ends purchasing that our production entailed, those we gladly embrace as our own in-kind donations to the project. Instead, we ask only for help with the lingering expense of our film purchase, developing, and the digital transfer.

Cost: _____

3. Any funding that we receive beyond these specific markers will go directly to the creation of a sister film created from the same pool of interviews that we used for The Holistic, which will explore how we relate to religion through memory and nostalgia. Any benefits directly related to The Holistic (inclusion in credits, film stills), will also be applicable for our next film in the event that we receive enough funds for its creation.

Cost: ______

As for why we chose film for our project and what you can receive for your generous help, I leave you in the capable hands of my filmmaking partner:

It's sad but we are asking for this large hunk of cash mainly because the rapidly disappearing business of film processing has driven the cost of 16mm and Super8mm development to an unpleasant price. So why not just shoot digital? Because we love celluloid and we refuse to believe that the film medium is dying out! Jacob and I have spent several afternoons exploring the world around us and capturing its beauty through the viewfinder of a camera with real tangible film whirring inside of it and we are desperate to share the fruits of our labor with you. In return for your help...

Nearing the end

When do you know when you've looked a project too much? I think I'm getting there, the point of exhaustion that marks the end. The other day when I was editing, I stared at a shot for what must have been a 30-40 minutes, tweaking length, speed, fades... Then I realized that the footage was no good, didn't fit at all, perfectly obvious. I obliterated the shot, left the opening black, and that might be where it stays. I did replace the light fixture and the Christmas tree in the beginning with something that feels more appropriate, and I changed the speed of a different shot, played with darkening up the swimming sequence, that's about where I am. I have very little that I really want to change about the project, and pretty soon the video will be locked and this film will have to pass into Michelle's hands because my hearing is terrible and I cannot mix the sound. At that point, I will have completed my work for the semester, save tweaking our indie gogo wording and getting the final binder put together. It feels strange because I've lived with the project for so long now, I've taken a religions course to hone my ideas, I've created other projects in a similar vein in order to better express my thoughts with the film, it's been an absorbing, roughly two year effort and now that it's almost done all I feel is a vague sense that I've made something good and then the sensation of exhaustion. As it happens, that perfectly describes my entire senior year.

I look forward to what The Holistic's festival life will entail. I think it could do very well. I'm thankful for the opportunity I've had in this class and all the thoughtful critiques. Hopefully, everyone will forgive me for ignoring so much of it. I'm stubborn, but I swear I've learned from it all, even the ideas I did not incorporate in the actual  project.

Notes on the third cut

All right, so I'm missing a post over spring break because my life was SXSW for break and Michelle's was work and so our project sat on the hard drive, lonely. However, now that I've shown the third cut to the class, truly finished only hours before hand, allow me to offer some notes of reflection on the work I briefly did before the break and after:

So as it happens I'm really happy with the project! It has taken a form that oddly seems more faithful to the reason I find religion so interesting in the first place, and while I really would love to follow up with a sister project that explores nostalgia, of which I now have many interviews to back up, I think the project holds water on its own.

I think my instinct to draw out the pace has worked well, and now I'm just thinking about restructuring the visuals in the beginning to allow for a clear aesthetical progression. Throughout the editing process, I've been trying to establish a visual flow while still reinforcing the dialogue with some kind of motivated thematic contrast/fellowship. It goes like this:

Part 1:
Eerie lights (w/feelings of nostalgia)
Water
Water Forest
Forest
Forest/Empty man made constructs
Light and Darkness

I'm not sure if I'll like it, but I'm thinking about starting the film off with more water, so that we stay on that "movement" as it were for a longer period of time.

I mean, really, the parts could just break down into water, forest (and by forest I mean trees, roots, earth, a feeling of being grounded), light/dark. That might be better. And I might try Andre's suggestion of the composition, putting some forest or vines over the white strip of the cameraless, which would keep it within the 3 part flow but would disrupt my purity of images. And I'm already punctuating with cameraless through the segmentation quotes so I kind of like having it pop in there. It's going to be something I'll have to meditate on.

Also on sound: there will be sound adjustments here, level tweaks, etc. Fun times.

Part 2 I'm happy with this visually, though I need to tweak some things. I still like the cameraless popping in. I don't know, I might have to go against that one. Like it pops in for the first part, anticipating a greater rhythmic punctuation in the second.

I like the sound too. The sound design here was all me, which I'm proud of because I got Michelle's stamp of approval (and she really has a great talent for odd/bizarre/beautiful sound designs).

Part 3 I think I might be happy with this visually too. This was all Michelle, and it's interesting because it's so stripped down in comparison to the other segments, but at the same time we are stripping the film down from a context of all the living, to all the dead, to just me. So it fits, strangely enough.

I tweaked the sound, so it's different from what we should in class. Just transition stuff. Although, when we should it to the class, some aspects of the sound design didn't bug me like they did when I sat down to listen on FCP. Particularly the end. I cut the class sounds short and blended it with the piano, but Michelle might have had it right the first time. I didn't even notice the wavering that she did, making the sounds of kids almost sound like it was a warbling in and out. I might even want to accentuate that.

Anyway, these are all my thoughts over the last cut. Sorry if they're rambling/grammatically incorrect. I'm insanely sleep deprived. I'll try to remember to go through and fix embarrassing typos later on.

New Notes on the Second Rough Cut

All right, so while I wait for this project to export I figured it would be an excellent time for a blog update! I woke this morning at 7:00 am, only getting 4-5ish hours of sleep and came in to edit another minute and 20 odd seconds from where I left this project off over the weekend. That brings me up to just under 10 minutes. I'm thinking I might need to retool the pacing, but it'll give the class an idea of where I'm going with the second segment. What I'm having trouble with though, and maybe I can bounce ideas off the class, is this notion of interrupting the music with a kind of static burst, radio of an evangelical preaching, bringing back in a couple of cross-feeding interviews, etc. I did a test run but I'm not really happy with it and I want to mess around with it more first to find out if I think it's a viable idea and then to get a little further in my development of the idea (if viable) in order to show to the class.

Besides that, I'm feeling pretty good about everything. I like my project, I like where it's going, I'm nervous/happy to show it to the class. I may or may not agree with any of the feedback. I'm stubborn that way.

In any case: onwards, upwards, et al.